Transition

The last time that I started over was 7 years ago. I left Lafayette Indiana to go to school at Ball State University in Muncie. I was very different then. I don't recall a lot about that transition. But I do remember the feeling of being new. Everything felt fresh and exciting for awhile. Then about 2 months in it just felt lonely. I missed the safety and security of home. I missed my old routine. I missed my friends. Living in the dorm began to feel less exciting and more difficult. Walking down the hall to go to Bible Study with my Bible under my arm became a test of my allegiance. Would I be ashamed to be identified with Christ or would I stand firm? My faith was tested. Getting up on Sunday mornings was trying. Friendships developed slower than I would have liked. There were a lot of awkward moments. Like the feeling of being surrounded by people but not known. I acted confident, but felt scared. But God was incredibly faithful. Transition exposed feelings of fear, insecurity, and helplessness. But God saw me through. I vividly remember the way that God grew me as I decided to live my life for Christ. And he used me. I was able to see 2 guys come to Christ through my witness. It really was nothing spectacular. I stopped by their rooms a couple of times a week. I bought one of them a Bible and I invited him to church. I invited the other guy to come on a road trip with me and I accidentally shared the gospel with him in a normal conversation. I was able to challenge some guys who were living complacent Christian lives to live out their faith. And I even boldly shared Christ with some dudes who were opposed to the gospel. I attribute my growth during that time to my insecurity turned Godward. With the tiny little faith that I had I stepped out. I have been reflecting on that transition as I go through this one. I still have insecurities and fears. I still feel like I am not anything spectacular. But there is a growing hopefulness in my heart as I reflect on the God whom I serve. "He is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine" (Eph 3:20). I could have never imagined that God would have used me in the way that he did during my four years of college and 3 years in ministry at Ball State. My dreams are bigger now. If God used me then, what could he have planned for us now? I have learned that insecurities turned toward God in prayer have great power because God has great power. So I am hopeful that during this transition God will turn my weakness into great usefulness for him.